


Too Much

by morethanthis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 10:45:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morethanthis/pseuds/morethanthis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary:  Harry loved at the right person at wrong time. What if he had a choice, a choice between what is easy and what is right? What will he choose? To be with the person he love but not fully have his heart or to be free and wait until the right person came?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much

One of the top 10 in the list in life of Harry Styles is not to fall in love because he knows he’ll end up getting hurt or he’s gonna hurt them. He don’t need to experience love just to see what will happen, he knows what his friends experienced and felt what it is to get hurt. You can call him coward or scared of getting hurt but he’s not risking his heart to get torn into million pieces. Yes he did have girlfriends and he loves them too but he didn’t feel any spark, he didn’t feel any butterflies in his stomach when he sees one of them. It’s not like that he didn’t love them truly but it’s a love but not fully, like he learned to value them exactly synonymous as loving them but you can’t really tell the difference.

 

One Direction reached the end of their Take Me Home tour they were successful in doing their concerts in every part of the world; they even have their tour on Asia which is another big step to their career. It was April and they needed to have a long and well deserved rest. Everyone came back to their respective homes Niall visited Mullingar to see some of his family and old friends, Liam is with Danielle, Louis is with Eleanor and they are planning to live together, Zayn is with Perrie but they have a limited time because Little Mix is having their first world tour so basically Zayn and Perrie will just celebrate their first anniversary then Perrie will take off, as for Harry Styles he’s alone in his flat with Louis not that he blame Louis for making Harry alone in their flat but they think and also discussed that they need time and space so that they’ll miss each other, (or maybe they are just tired seeing each other’s faces. Come on who wouldn’t feel that way they are like together for the whole year doing tours so yeah they need time not see each other) they are best friends and they so they understand each other.

 

Fuck. Harry thought it’s been 2 days since they returned from their tour and boredom is killing him. He decided to open his secret tumblr account to check some cool edited pictures of him and the lads. He’s not oblivious of the fandom creating bromances with him and the lads he knows about Larry Stylinson, Lirry, Narry and of course he laugh at the thought of Zarry. It’s quite funny he thought knowing a boy from Bradford a mysterious and quite one and the boy whom Harry didn’t quite get along with a first would be one of his closest friend in his life. He and Zayn like to hang out because they understand each other more than anyone else in the band because the two of them got the most of the hate, Harry for being the womanizer and the gayest of the band and he chuckle at that point because he’s being hated for being a womanizer yet he is being accused of being gay and there is Zayn who gets hate for his religion and ethnicity so yeah, they do understand each other more than the boys. (Not to mention them as the most pervs in the band doing some secret signs and languages during tours)

 

As Harry scrolling through some tags he saw a Zarry tag and clicked it. He saw how a simple whisper of him and Zayn turned into secret kiss and he was amazed by how the fans creates this kind of things, he even saw some of his speeches during interviews where he’s being asked if you are a girl who would you date in a band and he said Zayn, and there is also some gifs of their kiss in the kiss you music video. Harry thought that Zayn is really fun to be with guy and Perrie is lucky to have Zayn in his life

 

“Fuck! It’s Zayn and Perrie’s Anniversary I forgot to tell them.” Harry cursed. He got up from his bed and searched for their names in his phone he tried to call Zayn but he’s not answering so he decided to call Perrie but she’s not answering too so he decided he’ll just greet them in facebook. As he opened his account he saw at his news feed a picture of Zayn and Perrie kissing each other so he shared the photo adding a caption “ the sweetest couple, hope you stay strong mate xx-harry” so at least Harry have greeted them now. As he signed out on his facebook account his phone is suddenly vibrating and someone’s calling him, he’s shock at the person calling him but he answered it.

 

“Zayn?”

“Hey Mate. Can you drop here for a sec?”

“yeah sure?”

“did you just gave me an unsure answer?” Zayn chuckled at the other line.

“Yes. No. Hey wait isn’t it your anniversary with Perrie? Why are you asking me there?” Harry asked suspiciously, he knows Zayn loves Perrie too much and this is their first anniversary. “ I don’t know what you’re up to Malik but I’m gonna ride with it.”

“Yes it’s our anniversary but I’ll tell you what happened when you got here okay. Trust me.” Zayn hang up.

“Trust you.” Harry reapeted, he whispered it like a dead breeze creeping into your spine that gives you chill. He sighed and got up from his bed and grabbed his keys.

 

Zayn’s flat was not that far from their flat so Harry managed to get there in 15 minutes( it was supposed to be three but because of the fans he needed to find an alternative route to get there) he knocked at Zayn’s door but he’ not answering so he searched his phone and dialed Zayn’s number. It was on the third ring that Zayn answered.

“Open the God damned door Zayn.” Harry hissed. He’s quite pissed now because Zayn invited him over and Zayn is not opening the door.

“Sorry Haz. I’ll be right there in a sec.”

The door opened and Harry assumed it was Zayn who just got up from bed because he’s always like that when he’s late in interviews or shows the only reason is that he over slept. Harry’s shocked when he saw Zayn it was not Zayn who over slept but he was an unordinary Zayn.

“You’re naked, You’re wet, You have towel on your waist. Are you sick man?” Harry asked teasingly.

“I Just didn’t expect you to come late okay? So I grabbed the chance to take a shower for a bit.” Zayn just shrugged and walk in to his to grab some cloaths. Harry sit on the sofa waiting for Zayn to return.

 

“So I called you here because Me and Perrie will not celebrate our anniversary together and you my friend will keep me company while she’s gone.”

Harry looked irritated at Zayn but Zayn’s just smiling and waiting for Harry to answer. Harry can’t resist Zayn because Zayn was there when he needed a friend so even if it’s against his will he just sighed.

“I take that as a yes my dear Hazza.” Zayn kissed Harry’s cheek as a sign of thankyou and sorry at the same time for disturbing his precious little brother and grabbed Harry’s arm and they left his flat.

 

They are on the movie house and they are watching the Avengers 2 which they’re fan of it. Out of nowhere Zayn said. “ If I were gay I’d propably date you Haz.” A he’s looking directly into Harry’s green eyes and Harry is looking straight back into those deep hazel brown eyes.

Harry chocked at zayn’s Question he knows Zayn is moody and hard to understand sometimes but this was really out of the line. He doesn’t know what got into Zayn’s mind to say things like that. He doesn’t know if this is a cruel joke Zayn is playing with him or Zayn’s just experiencing depression because he and Perrie didn’t celebrate their anniversary today. On Harry’s mind it’s erupting like a volcano.

“whaaat? Zayn are you serious? Are you kidding? Wait are you stoned?” is what all harry managed to say but before he was to speak again Zayn kissed him on the lips it wasn’t a hard, aggressive kiss but it was a soft, tender and caring kiss like those in the movies where the couple is kissing each other because they realize they can’t live without each other.

Before the kiss registered on o Harry’s mind he looked at Zayn whose eyes are full of love and adoration he don’t know what is happening but Harry caught something a spark that was already there, a spark that changed everything. He kissed Zayn back but now it was full of power and aggression like he wanted it his whole life, like he needed it that his life is depending on that kiss. And from that little spark it caused a tremendous flame full of desire and love.

 

When they managed to pull back from the intense kiss they shared they were breathing heavy, looking at each other it was Zayn who broke the silence between them.

 

“What a Movie.”

“Yeah, an intense one”

“So what just happened?”Zayn asked but he was smiling so Harry knew that Zayn is just teasing him.

“We kissed you dum dum.” They both laughed at the words Harry has said.

“So I think I really like you Harry.”

“yeah? What about Perrie?” Harry didn’t miss the way Zayn changed his yes, from happiness to a thing he wasn’t sure of.

“ Just trust me on this okay? Do you trust me?”

“I trust you.”

 

As days and weeks passed things between Zayn and Harry got stronger and stronger and it scared Harry a lot. He’s not supposed to feel these things, things that he knows will not last a lifetime. It scared him a lot because he’s afraid to fall in love with girls but he’s falling for a guy which is his best friend, his band mate which scares him even more. Zayn now is telling him I love you’s and it felt so good and at the same time it is scarier because the I love you’s Zayn is saying is more than a friend now Harry is afraid to say it back because he feels when he say it back things will get messy and he don’t know how to fix it. With Zayn things get so complicated.

 

Harry doesn’t know what to do anymore. He trusts Zayn with what they are doing, he knows it’s just a playtime for Zayn but he can’t deny the way Zayn looks at him every night or even the way Zayn takes care of him like he was a protective boyfriend. He can’t deny it to himself that he likes this; whatever this is called between him and Zayn. Harry loves Zayn and Zayn loves Harry too but at the same time Zayn loves Perrie so as Perrie loves Zayn and things between them is like a parallel lines no matter how much close they get, they can never meet.

 

There was a time where Zayn said to Harry if he was to choose between him and Perrie, he’d choose Harry and this shouldn’t make feel Harry good but it does. He asked Zayn not to break up with Perrie whatever happens or else Harry would leave Zayn and it scared Zayn a lot, he’s afraid to lose Harry not now not ever.

 

Harry don’t know what to do. He needed help and there is one person who can help him with this. He grabbed his keys and left. He drove until he parked at the house which was very familiar to him. He rang the doorbell and waited for an answer, the wait was like forever until he hears footsteps from the other side of the door and it was a girl who opened the door for him.

 

“Hi Danielle, Is Liam there?”

“Yeah he’s here, please come in Harry. Would you like to have some coffee? Tea? Juice? Water?” she asked harry but he just nod signaling that he was okay. “Feel yourself at home please while I call Liam.” She vanished from the doorframe of the living door and Harry hears she’s calling Liam from their bedroom.

A few moments have passed and finally Liam showed up. Harry got up from his feet and hugged his best friend once they’re done giving welcoming greeting to each other they settled to the sofa and looking at each other.

“What’s wrong Haz?” Liam asked. He was quite concerned to his friend, Harry isn’t like this. He would call or text him if he needed something but this is something more he came here to his flat without any warning so something is telling him there’s something wrong.

Liam knew Harry couldn’t talk fast it take time for him to deliver his sentences so he waits for Harry to respond even if this could take a while. He is searching in those green eyes til he saw that Harry is lost, he’s been carrying something heavy that even the strongest man couldn’t bear. He don’t know what else he can do so he hugged his youngest band mate knowing that he is the most sensitive one among the group and Liam always portray the Daddy of the group and this was needed.

Harry couldn’t contain he is feeling anymore it is worst than eating Mentos then drinking Coca-Cola and being hugged by Liam, Liam the one-who-is-always-right-in-these-type-of-things and Liam the one-who-can-give-you-comfort-when-you-needed-it-most. He told Liam everything that happened from the day that Zayn called him up until the present time. He was shocked when he heard this stuffs he knew Zayn is just a sweet boy especially when it comes to his bandmates he can feel it too because he knows about Ziam too. He knows he shouldn’t get in the way between Harry and Zayn but Zayn is his friend too but Harry needed help so he gave one of those advices he always give to his fellow friends when they have problems.

 

“You know Harry to love someone is not a problem and it’s not wrong to be loved too everyone deserves to feel it Love. It’s so strong that no one can even defy it. What you and Zayn have now is a thing no one can understand even me. But you are wrong Harry you fell for the right person at the wrong time. Zayn is with Perrie they are in a relationship. What Zayn did was wrong too but you had a choice and you chose wrong but it’s not too late Haz you can still change of what is left, you knew this, you knew this could happen. I know it’s hard to give up everything especially when it’s all you ever wanted but things can happen at the proper moment you’ll just have to wait.”

 

Harry knows what to do. He knows how to finish what he has started.

 

 

It was a dark but fine dining place. There are few people here so only few can notice them. The background music was Justin Beiber’s As Long As You Love Me. Isn’t this great Harry thought.

“So what’s the important thing you need to say to me Harry?” Zayn asked

“I’ve been thinking about this lately. When we did this, whatever you may call this You have a girlfriend who loves you more than her own life and I know and feel that you do too love her but what we are doing is very wrong, you’re cheating Perrie and I’m not oblivious of what’s happening so I do too have a part with this. From the very start I knew you had a girlfriend and I had a choice and I chose wrong. I shouldn’t do those things, I shouldn’t say those things. It’s so wrong, I don’t like someone feeling disadvantage, I feel very pity of Perrie I don’t know what I’ll do if I knew the person I love most is cheating on me. Until the fire isn’t that big I’d like to kill it as early as possible so that things wouldn’t be complicated.” There was a glitch in his voice probably a hoarse, pain, sadness and every negative feeling one can think of but not regret, he didn’t regret that he loved Zayn. He will always loves Zayn and he knows it will never change as time pass by. “ But above all thankyou Zayn, Thankyou because you made me feel that I deserve to be loved and I realized that you too deserve to be love and she’s there don’t you ever let her go. So don’t make things harder we both know this will come it just that I made it earlier but in this case your heart will heal early too.” Harry is crying, he doesn’t know why maybe because he really did love Zayn more than he expected. “so this is the last time we’re gonna talk like this. All I need Zayn is time, just give me time to think it all over, Give me time to make my mistakes right. I need this and you too need this. I’m so sorry Zayn.”

“Why Harry? Isn’t because you didn’t love me the way I loved you? Isn’t it because I didn’t give you much? Isn’t it because you just played with me? You just experimented my feelings? It’s okay for you to say that you didn’t love me that much, that you fall out of love, that you didn’t like me, that you found someone else but hearing you say you need time is like all of it came together it was excruciating for me to hear Haz, I just want you to know that I love you and you love me too. That’s all I wanted to know, to feel but don’t leave me please I’m begging you.” Zayn cried. He doesn’t know if he could take this what he is hearing from harry is too much pain, he’s not a poet but every word that harry is saying stabs his heart and his soul is being ripped into million pieces.

“But we need this, if I don’t leave you now today. We’ll be stuck in this love that could tear us apart.”

“But you’re asking for too much Harry, you’re asking me to let you free. It’s like asking to give you up for someone who’ll just hurt you.”

 

”and this is too much to bear too Zayn. I love you but we need this.” There was no emotion in his voice pure nothingless that made everything scarier. Harry stood up leaving Zayn tore up.

 

“You’ll always have a piece of my heart Zayn always have and always will but this is too much. I love you too much.” Harry whispered underneath his breath as he walks in the cold summer night.


End file.
